Final Countdown: Grand Finale
It is a foregone conclusion that Devin Hester and the Chicago Bears vs. Arizona Cardinals Monday night match up would be the highlight of my existence in Phoenix. It still comes up in idle chatter about once a week (this down from daily) and it is difficult for me to explain that Monday Night Football is an event in every city where the carnival stops during the season. The Cardinals and their fans were shocked to be part of Monday Night Football and the city was buzzing over being on a national stage for something besides hosting the Fiesta Bowl. Despite the buzz Matt Leinart came out gunning and Rex Grossman tanked (foreshadowing the Super Bowl?) and the Bears were down throughout until the defense came up large and set the stage for Hester…
Final Countdown: 7/8
During my four years at the University of Nevada I ended up taking bowling three times. One could assume that this amount of professional instruction would make me a dominate bowler but I still average about 140-150 each and every time. I will admit that the classes did help out my form but I’ve had the same average since I took up the sport six or seven years ago.
It turns out that there were a few other bowlers at work and two teams were set up to compete at the nearby AMF Deer Valley Lanes. Our employer, despite being one of the largest commercial insurers in America, refused to sponsor our squad. Despite paying the $15 a week league fee this turned out to be a blessing in disguise as we had free reign to bowl our own way and to bestow a name upon our squad as we saw fit. The Son’s of Ron Mexico were born as a fitting tribute to everyone’s
favorite quarterback Michael Vick. It is still unclear why I thought it was a good idea to name a bowling team after Vick but we had matching shirts from PhatPimpClothing.com and for the most part no one had any idea what our name meant.
The season started off bad and ended worse. By the fourth week two of our teammates quit and we were hovering towards the back of the pack. Truthfully we were ridiculously inconsistent, when I had a good week my only teammate would tank and vice versa. By the final week we were in 19th place, out of 20 teams, but we if we could avoid a sweep we would avoid the cellar. We were swept by some middle age women.
Our team never got back together under the proposed name Ron Mexico United but we did foreshadow Michael Vick and to a certain degree Marcus Vick’s future. As I type this blog Marcus is out of the NFL after trying to become a wide receiver for the Miami Dolphins and Michael is facing dogfighting charges.
Final Countdown: 6/8
I’m not a big hockey guy and it seems even weirder to attend games when it is 80 degrees outside but I went to a pair during my Phoenix sentence. Specifically I found myself at a Phoenix Coyotes vs. Edmonton Oilers game because it was Wayne Gretzky Bobblehead Night.
Free bobbleheads, especially of the Great One, are enough to lure me anywhere so I took in the contest. For the most it was a typical game, please keep in mind that the subtleties of hockey are beyond me, but the Oilers sent the game into OT by scoring a goal from a face off with 2.2 seconds left in regulation. Eventually Edmonton pulled out a victory in the shootout.
Truthfully my jaw dropped when Edmonton scored that quickly. It just didn’t seem possible to win a face off and get the shot, an accurate one too, off in that time but they did and many replays proved it.
Final Countdown: 5/8
After reading two books about the Zodiac and then following that pair up with Helter Skelter I assumed I couldn’t be appalled by either crimes or the logic behind the acts but four people in Mesa took crime to another level. In June 2007 a Mesa, Az women was kidnapped, tortured, had ‘Snitch’ branded into her head.
This wasn’t a highlight of my stay in Arizona but it did seem to show that the Valley can produce a different type of criminal.
More Problems For Lindsay
Keep your head up, Final Countdown: 4/8
I wrote Number 4 back in May. Thank you for the good times, Richie Anderson.
Final Countdown: 3/8
February 13, 2006. Louisiana Tech at Nevada. This game was shown on ESPN but it started late, Day Light Savings Time in Phoenix and East Coast bias for games earlier in the day conspired to get me in bed at midnight. Nevada ultimately fell behind by 11 and I was about to turn it off because I had to work in the morning but I stuck it out…
Final Countdown: 2/8
I ended up in Phoenix to take a job as a claims adjuster. For the most part I find myself talking to folks after they have a car accident and get an idea of what happened in the crash. Due to my upbringing in California and subsequent exodus to Reno for college I have a very limited exposure to people that aren’t from the west coast. My claims workload is from each state from west of the Mississippi and I find myself dealing with various cultures that I never knew.
It turns out that most of America, at least the states I handle at work, are predominately rural and for the most part have no experience with car accidents and dealing with insurance companies. Also, most car accidents are minor affairs that occur in parking lots or at speeds less than 20 mph and lead to minor injuries. Beyond these casual observations of regions and the nature of car accidents I have also come to the simple conclusion that most victims of car accidents assume that they have won the lottery when their Daewoo is struck at 10 mph while waiting at a stop light.
Since most fairly logical people know that there can be almost no injuries, and hence no cash for pain and suffering, from a low velocity accident a claims adjuster finds him/herself hearing a lot of junk about pain and life destroying injuries that require 12 weeks of chiropractic care and wage loss from an accident that caused $350 of damage to a car’s rear bumper.
*Please Note: Most of my claims are for minimal injuries and accidents that aren’t life threatening but there are very serious ones that come in from time to time. The prior diatribe refers to 75% of my job and the reason I’m employed.
Beyond the notion that people feel they won the lottery when they get in an accident I have also found myself listening to self diagnosis, beyond the normal WebMD style research. For the most part people just claim they are worse shape than the reality of the crash, near death after being rear ended in a parking lot.
After 20 months of doing claims, handling phones and discussing injuries I hit my absolute lowest point when a gentlemen from rural Missouri (I had no idea Missouri was so rural) that was stopped at an intersection and was struck by a Hyundai traveling 10 or 15 mph. The accident dinged up his tow bar. Upon my initial chat he screamed to the heavens of pain, tragedy and the onset of “Whip Flash” and the fact he needed to see his “choir-practor”.
Final Countdown: 1/8
I have given my two week notice at work and notified the leasing office at The Heights of my intent to move from the Valley. After approximately 20 months in Phoenix it’s time to head back to California. I have eight days of work until my resignation kicks in and in honor of skipping town I offer my top eight highlights from my brief stay in Arizona.
Larry Johnson vs. Antrel Rolle
