Life In The DPC!

Land of the free and the home of Dave

C.R.E.A.M.

Friday, November 30th, 2007

- A bank teller had a million reasons to deny this transaction.

Police say a man tried to open an account with a $1 million bill, which does not exist. The teller refused and called police while the man started to curse at bank workers, said Aiken County Sheriff’s spokesman Lt. Michael Frank.Alexander D. Smith, 31, of Augusta, Ga., was charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of forgery, Frank said.The second forgery charge came after investigators learned Smith bought several cartons of cigarettes from a nearby grocery store with a stolen check, Frank said.

Smith has a bail hearing scheduled Wednesday, but Deputy Angela Shunn of the Aiken County Detention Center did not know if he had an attorney. An off-hours call to the public defender’s office went unanswered.

(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

This incident reminded me of The Trouble With Trillions episode of The Simpsons where Mr. Burns stole a trillion dollar bill from the U.S. government. Of course Burns didn’t attempt to cash in the bill but instead committed high treason and attempted to buy Cuba.



No Thanks To Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

No Thanks to Thanksgiving

By Robert Jensen, AlterNet. Posted November 23, 2005.

Courtesy of AlterNet

Instead, we should atone for the genocide that was incited — and condoned — by the very men we idolize as our ‘heroic’ founding fathers.
One indication of moral progress in the United States would be the replacement of Thanksgiving Day and its self-indulgent family feasting with a National Day of Atonement accompanied by a self-reflective collective fasting.In fact, indigenous people have offered such a model; since 1970 they have marked the fourth Thursday of November as a Day of Mourning in a spiritual/political ceremony on Coles Hill overlooking Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts, one of the early sites of the European invasion of the Americas.

Not only is the thought of such a change in this white-supremacist holiday impossible to imagine, but the very mention of the idea sends most Americans into apoplectic fits — which speaks volumes about our historical hypocrisy and its relation to the contemporary politics of empire in the United States.

That the world’s great powers achieved “greatness” through criminal brutality on a grand scale is not news, of course. That those same societies are reluctant to highlight this history of barbarism also is predictable.

But in the United States, this reluctance to acknowledge our original sin — the genocide of indigenous people — is of special importance today. It’s now routine — even among conservative commentators — to describe the United States as an empire, so long as everyone understands we are an inherently benevolent one. Because all our history contradicts that claim, history must be twisted and tortured to serve the purposes of the powerful.

One vehicle for taming history is various patriotic holidays, with Thanksgiving at the heart of U.S. myth-building. From an early age, we Americans hear a story about the hearty Pilgrims, whose search for freedom took them from England to Massachusetts. There, aided by the friendly Wampanoag Indians, they survived in a new and harsh environment, leading to a harvest feast in 1621 following the Pilgrims first winter.

Some aspects of the conventional story are true enough. But it’s also true that by 1637 Massachusetts Gov. John Winthrop was proclaiming a thanksgiving for the successful massacre of hundreds of Pequot Indian men, women and children, part of the long and bloody process of opening up additional land to the English invaders. The pattern would repeat itself across the continent until between 95 and 99 percent of American Indians had been exterminated and the rest were left to assimilate into white society or die off on reservations, out of the view of polite society.

Simply put: Thanksgiving is the day when the dominant white culture (and, sadly, most of the rest of the non-white but non-indigenous population) celebrates the beginning of a genocide that was, in fact, blessed by the men we hold up as our heroic founding fathers.

The first president, George Washington, in 1783 said he preferred buying Indians’ land rather than driving them off it because that was like driving “wild beasts” from the forest. He compared Indians to wolves, “both being beasts of prey, tho’ they differ in shape.”

Thomas Jefferson — president #3 and author of the Declaration of Independence, which refers to Indians as the “merciless Indian Savages” — was known to romanticize Indians and their culture, but that didn’t stop him in 1807 from writing to his secretary of war that in a coming conflict with certain tribes, “[W]e shall destroy all of them.”

As the genocide was winding down in the early 20th century, Theodore Roosevelt (president #26) defended the expansion of whites across the continent as an inevitable process “due solely to the power of the mighty civilized races which have not lost the fighting instinct, and which by their expansion are gradually bringing peace into the red wastes where the barbarian peoples of the world hold sway.”

Roosevelt also once said, “I don’t go so far as to think that the only good Indians are dead Indians, but I believe nine out of ten are, and I shouldn’t like to inquire too closely into the case of the tenth.”

How does a country deal with the fact that some of its most revered historical figures had certain moral values and political views virtually identical to Nazis? Here’s how “respectable” politicians, pundits, and professors play the game: When invoking a grand and glorious aspect of our past, then history is all-important. We are told how crucial it is for people to know history, and there is much hand wringing about the younger generations’ lack of knowledge about, and respect for, that history.

In the United States, we hear constantly about the deep wisdom of the founding fathers, the adventurous spirit of the early explorers, the gritty determination of those who “settled” the country — and about how crucial it is for children to learn these things.

But when one brings into historical discussions any facts and interpretations that contest the celebratory story and make people uncomfortable — such as the genocide of indigenous people as the foundational act in the creation of the United States — suddenly the value of history drops precipitously and one is asked, “Why do you insist on dwelling on the past?”

This is the mark of a well-disciplined intellectual class — one that can extol the importance of knowing history for contemporary citizenship and, at the same time, argue that we shouldn’t spend too much time thinking about history.

This off-and-on engagement with history isn’t of mere academic interest; as the dominant imperial power of the moment, U.S. elites have a clear stake in the contemporary propaganda value of that history. Obscuring bitter truths about historical crimes helps perpetuate the fantasy of American benevolence, which makes it easier to sell contemporary imperial adventures — such as the invasion and occupation of Iraq — as another benevolent action.

Any attempt to complicate this story guarantees hostility from mainstream culture. After raising the barbarism of America’s much-revered founding fathers in a lecture, I was once accused of trying to “humble our proud nation” and “undermine young people’s faith in our country.”

Yes, of course — that is exactly what I would hope to achieve. We should practice the virtue of humility and avoid the excessive pride that can, when combined with great power, lead to great abuses of power.

History does matter, which is why people in power put so much energy into controlling it. The United States is hardly the only society that has created such mythology. While some historians in Great Britain continue to talk about the benefits that the empire brought to India, political movements in India want to make the mythology of Hindutva into historical fact.

Abuses of history go on in the former empire and the former colony. History can be one of the many ways we create and impose hierarchy, or it can be part of a process of liberation. The truth won’t set us free, but the telling of truth at least opens the possibility of freedom.

As Americans sit down on Thanksgiving Day to gorge themselves on the bounty of empire, many will worry about the expansive effects of overeating on their waistlines. We would be better to think about the constricting effects of the day’s mythology on our minds.



Sweet Caroline Revealed

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

Sweet Caroline has finally been revealed by Neil Diamond as Caroline Kennedy.

“It was a No. 1 record and probably is the biggest, most important song of my career, and I have to thank her for the inspiration,” he said. “I’m happy to have gotten it off my chest and to have expressed it to Caroline. I thought she might be embarrassed, but she seemed to be struck by it and really, really happy.”

The Real Story

I always assumed that Sweet Caroline, as interpreted by Will Farrell, was a bit darker…


Neil Diamond…..Will Ferrell
Gary the Bass Player…..John Goodman
Kenny the Keyboard Player…..Tim Meadows


Neil: Hello, everyone. They told me before I came on this show, that I was supposed to tell the stories behind my most popular songs, and then play them. I said, “Cool let’s do it!” But, Gary over here was a little shy..

Gary the Bass Player: Now, come on, Neil, give me a break, man.

Neil: Ah, ha ha ha ha! This first song.. [ Kenny the Keyboard Player intros “Sweet Caroline”, crowd applauds ] Thank you. That, of course, “Sweet Caroline”. I wrote that song after a big show at the Forum. Gary and I had been drinking pretty heavily, and we were driving..

Gary: [ worried ] Oh, I can’t believe you’re gonna tell this story..

Neil: Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, well, we were driving down this dark road, and I hit a kid. [ the crowd is stunned ] So, we got out, and sure enough he was dead. So, we just took off. Pretty fast. And, two hours later, I wrote “Sweet Caroline”. Sweet Caroline. Good times never seemed so good. Thank you.



Thank you, whoever coaches Nevada

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

When you don’t ice someone, you only have 24 seconds to make the kick. He gave me another 60 seconds to think about it,” University of Hawaii kicker Dan Kelly said. “Unless you’re a total head case, thinking about it shouldn’t be that difficult of a task because it’s only a 45 yarder. “So, thank you. I don’t even know the guy’s name, but whoever coaches Nevada, ‘Thank you.”‘

Maybe I was wrong in my perpetual assertion that no one likes Ault on the Nevada sidelines. If Hawaii goes on to BCS bliss they need to thank Ault because he once again showed that he is playing checkers while the rest of the football world is playing chess.

Last Friday’s match up against the University of Hawaii was the greatest opportunity that the Pack had to salvage some semblance of respectability from this poor 2007 campaign but like every other close game Ault found away to sink his own ship. Nevada is now 5-5 and can count nail biting losses against Boise State, Northwestern, and now Hawaii as bad game management and that responsibility lies solely on Ault. If you want the accolades of being a leader, well you have to take the brunt of the criticism.

“Courage is often found in having the willingness to chuck the textbook out the window and trust one’s own instincts,” Matt Zemek of CollegeFootballNews.com said. “Perhaps this is what Ault was thinking in the final minutes of Friday night’s nailbiter against unbeaten Hawaii. The evidence, however, suggests that the leader of the (Wolf) Pack simply committed a few astoundingly bad errors in judgment.



I Want My HDTV

Friday, November 16th, 2007

Swanni’s 10 Sexiest Women in HDTV

By Swanni Washington, D.C. (November 13, 2007)
However, celebrities who are naturally beautiful in real-life look even better in ultra-real HD. Their skin, hair and smile somehow take on an extra radiance, all but overwhelming the viewer with their raw physical attractiveness.

So in honor of true beauty, I am now publishing our third annual…

Swanni’s 10 Sexiest Women in HDTV!

These 10 TV celebrities/actresses are so ‘HDTV hot’ that they could break up your marriage with a single flip of the remote.

So here are this year’s picks for the 10 Sexiest Women in HDTV! (Note: All programming times are eastern.)

to be continued…



They Pulled The Plug On DPC of the RGJ

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

After ten episodes the Reno Gazette Journal has canceled my Wolf Pack Guest Column. I received a phone call from my boss in the middle of last week and it seems that the plug was pulled due to a lack of interest for football and the overall excitement generated by the pending basketball season. Or maybe the people had spoken…

I nearly had a heart attack when I saw there was a guest columnist for basketball”, Reno_Zen said. “I thought the Gazoo was letting that Castro guy write about basketball too. Thank goodness they did not…that guy is not a good writer.”

Truthfully it is a lack of interest for the Lil’ General and His Soldiers. Nevada has developed into a school like Indiana. Where basketball is king and the only reason I know the Hoosiers have a football program is because of Antwaan Randle El.



Wolf Pack Guest Column: New Mexico State Aggies

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

The University of Nevada held of New Mexico State, 40-38, in Las Cruces. The Pack held on to victory after the Aggies shanked the game winning field goal attempt.

The Pack are now 5-4, 3-2 in the WAC and have slim bowl hopes. They now have a week off to prepare for the Hawaii Warriors. The Warriors are 14th in the BCS and even though the Colt Brennen Heisman campaign has died off but the Warriors offense should be feared, regardless of the weather in No Town.
Reno Gazette Journal- Wolf Pack Guest Column



Novemeber 4th

Monday, November 5th, 2007

November 4th birthdays:
1982 - Devin Hester
1979 - Jesse Camp, former MTV veejay
1980 - Marcy Rylan, American actress
1975 - Eduard Kokcharov, Russian handball player
1975 - Curtis Stone, Australian chef and television personality
1975 - Heather Tom, American actress
1965 - Tomoaki Ishizuka “Pata”, Japanese musician
1965 - Wayne Static, American musician (Static-X)
1965 - Jeff Scott Soto, American musician (Yngwie Malmsteen Band, Journey)
1967 - Eric Karros, American baseball player
1968 - Carlos Baerga, Puerto Rican baseball player
1969 - Matthew McConaughey, American actor
1969 - Sean “Diddy” Combs, American rapper
1962 - Jeff Probst, American television host
1961 - Ralph Macchio, American actor
1950 - Markie Post, American actress

November 4th Events
2002 - Fugazi plays last show to date in London, UK at The Forum
2003 - The most powerful solar flare as observed by satellite instrumentation is recorded.
1970 - Genie, a 13 year old feral child was found in Los Angeles, California having been locked in her bedroom for most of her life.
1979 - Iran hostage crisis begins: Iranian radicals, mostly students, invade the United States embassy in Tehran and take 90 hostages (53 of whom are American).
1980 - Ronald Wilson Reagan is elected as the 40th President of the United States of America.
1984 - Dell is founded.