Life In The DPC!

• NFL Czar, Roger Goodell, refuses to reinstate Pacman Jones before the 2008 season begins. This seems to be a bit of hypocrisy by the NFL because Jones’ suspension was for the 2007 season and they’re also infringing on his ability to seek another employer. It stands to reason that the Titans are not interested in Jones and it is time for both sides to move on and start over. Pacman is a commodity, a shut down corner and an upper echelon returner all rolled into one, and though a few teams will be turned off by his record off the field many will acknowledge that he has paid his debt to society and tender him an offer (or the Titans for his rights)
• Colt Brennan has transformed from Mid Major superman into a second day pick. Bucky Brooks, of Sportsillustrated.com, has Brennan ranked as the 9th best QB in the draft. Well, at least he beat out Dennis Dixon. All joking aside, I think Brennan is definitely worth a 3rd round or later pick from a team that is willing to give him time to develop. Best case scenario: a career like Jake Plummer. Of course he could easily find himself dominating the Arena Football League in a few years. Scouting QB’s is an inexact science and as is similar to the Jeanne Dixon effect.
• Joe Flacco is the next Kyle Boller.
• John David Booty will exceed his draft status and will find niche as another USC alum. More Matt Cassel than Carson Palmer but still in the NFL.
• Chicago Bears’ GM, Jerry Angelo, is evil by making minimal attempts to keep everyone’s favorite Fresno State Bulldog Bernard Berrian and by likely keeping Rex Grossman. Of course if Rex is at the helm of the Bears next season there is no point in keeping talented wide receivers. At this point I’d consider David Carr an upgrade. Plus the idea of a Kyle Orton and Carr quarterback controversy boggles the mind.

I quit smoking, I haven’t had a cigarette since Friday February 15 at 10:47 p.m., and it seems that my 14-years of chain smoking are over. I take absolutely no credit for this and must aptly throw praise to my former co-worker Danielle and the near miracle drug Chantix. (Credit goes to Danielle for using Chantix when I was still living in Phoenix and showing that it can actually work.)

Of course there are side effects from this mind altering drug (mind altering as “Based on research, it is believed that CHANTIX helps keep nicotine from reaching key receptors in the brain.”) and when I began taking the medication the FDA released a request that Pfizer, manufacturer of Chantix, should release greater warnings about the possible side effects, which include “agitation, depressed mood and suicidal thoughts”. I can attest to the agitation but I should also keep in mind that I was easily irked even if I had a cigarette in my mouth. As for suicide and depression, well these emotions and possible actions haven’t come to the surface but I must admit that I was pretty bummed out when Nevada lost to Boise State earlier this week.

I am not a big MMA guy but I do watch most of the big fights and pay per views because my brother, friends and misc. acquaintances are all fans of the octagon. The shows are entertaining, unless there is excessive ground and pound involved, and the post fight interviews are always a good demonstration of verbal judo.

10 of the Dumbest Quotes in MMA
Courtesy of CagePotato.com

10. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
Quote: “When I be losing I be gettin’ my ass whupped. But when I be winnin’ I be doing the ass whuppin’!”
Admittedly, Rampage has had enough funny/dumb quotes to fill a book and over 2/3rd of them contain some version of “ass whuppin’”. We’ll let this well-said overly obvious statement represent the many that he has given us — and the hundreds more that are sure to come.

9. BJ Penn
Quote: “My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs.”
We like BJ - and he’s a fan favorite - but, Prodigy, a little extra effort would be appreciated when you’re fielding questions about your diet. Everyone knows what Atkins is, so if you add the carbs…well, then it’s not Atkins at all is it?

8. Wanderlei Silva
Quote: “I want to fuck…I want to fight Chuck, fuck Chuck.”
We understand English is not his first language, but if I’m going to be at press conferences and giving recorded interviews, I’m going to at least make sure I’m not saying I want to bone a dude instead of fight him. But maybe that’s just me. I’m not from his country. [Ed. note: Sure, GSP’s accent has led to some hilarious moments, but never did we misconstrue him as wanting to bed Matt Hughes.]

7. Jim Brown
Quote: “I don’t know what kind of technique was used there, but there was a lot of kicking and punching.”
Astute observations like this is what helps us understand the ins-and-outs of MMA. Sure, the use of Jim Brown may have just been a ploy to throw some celebrity power behind the broadcasts, but my grandmother could have made this remark. Actually, my grandmother has made this remark.

6. Phil Baroni
Quote: “I fight because I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and it beats working all day. Now ask me a question that doesn’t sound so fucking stupid.”
Well, for those of you who can’t sing, dance or fight, I guess you’re up shit creek. Looks like you’ll be working all day for the rest of your miserable existence. Baroni never did handle interviews with kid gloves, but when you make comments that are just plain stupid, expect to make the dumb list.

5. Tank Abbott
Quote: “I felt like I was being raped by Freddy Mercury.”
Tank made this comment over a decade ago after losing to Dan Severn. Now, we’re not sure if Tank actually had the experience of being violated by Queen’s bandleader or if that was the first person who came to mind when he was asked how he felt. Even though Dan Severn and Freddie Mercury shared similar mustache styles, this still ranks as one of the dumbest.

4. Tim Sylvia
Quote: “Half of this game is 90% mental.”
We may feel a little sorry for him sometimes, but this guy just can’t stay off of our worst lists. This one was just begging to be here. And for those of you who failed math more than once (is that so wrong?) half is 50%, not 90%. Hence the dumbness.

3. Mike Goldberg
Quote: “He wants to get in close to use that reach advantage.”
Goldie is a master at the dumb quotes and has a multitude during each broadcast - like “Looks like Tito is taking a book out of Chuck’s chapter.” This gem comes from Ultimate Fight Night 10 and it will certainly be topped by an even dumber quip by the toothy commentator soon. It’s only a matter of time before Rogan chokes MIke out for his idiotic sayings.

2. Paul Buentello
Quote: “Don’t fear me. (pause to get the crowd pumped) Fear the consequences.”
We’re sure he had something cool to say, but as soon as he got the first three words out it all went blank. Then cheesy movie lines started rushing into his head and he’s stuck with this embarrassing quote for life.

1. Ken Shamrock
Quote #1:”You got kicked. By a kick.”
Quote #2: “I am very confident this fight can go either way.”
We could do a top 100 of Ken’s quotes, but we’ll only use these two from TUF 3 for this list. Quote #1 is so blatant, it hardly warrants anything be said about it. The second quote is a classic Ken when a microphone is shoved in his face and he must rely on his mind to do the heavy lifting for him. The results are hi-larious. But careful about making fun of him, he will “beat you into a living death” (an actual Ken quote).

The Arizona Cardinals hosted Super Bowl XLII last weekend and like usual they were nowhere near appearing in it. I predicted a 10-6 2006 and I was way off base. In 2007 I figured they would improve a little bit and they made me a visionary as they leaped from 5-11 in 2006 to 8-8 in 2007. For the most part I am not overly optimistic fella but in the “Any Given Sunday” NFL developed by Pete Rozelle the Cardinals have a legitimate chance of making a championship run. I have never articulated this notion due to embassment but a legitimate news outlet sorta shares my sentiments.

The New York Giants upset the New England Patriots, 17-14, in Super Bowl XLII in picturesque Glendale, Az. I must openly admit that I had picked the Patriots by 14 and gave absolutely no credit to Eli and the Giants, Obviously I was wrong, like most pundits, but I was entertained and since I had no vested interest in the game it was cool to kick back and just watch a game, as opposed to be driven to nausea by poor performances by my favorite squads.

Of course there was the oddity of seeing my favorite stadium on TV and Colin Cowherd just mentioned on the podcast of his Monday show that the stadium is cursed for favorites and is the home of bizarre upsets. He’s right and I had these sentiments before I heard his thundering herd because of the Monday Night Fiasco (Chicago Bears vs. Arizona Cardinals), Boise State knocking off Oklahoma and Florida upsetting Ohio State.

Do I have any great insights into such a grand upset? Not really. The Patriots came out flat and seemed to underestimate their opponent. The Giants’ front four was dominate and the easiest way to stop a dominate offense is to put the QB on his tail and the G-Men did it throughout the game. Last week I watched the Super Bowl XX in its entirety, thank you NFL Network, and for the first time I really got to see Buddy Ryan’s 46 defense at its apex and how a dominate pass rush can screw with the mind of a QB. Tony Eason was shell shocked before halftime and the Bears rolled to a 46-10 victory. The Giants’ defense is not in the same strata as the Bears but, not by any stretch of the imagination, but both teams maintained the same ethos and pressured the quarterback out of his comfort level and into mistakes.

Due to too much drama in the DPC I found myself spending Friday evening at the Roxy watching Untraceable. Untraceable stars the always foxy Diane Lane as an FBI agent, in the cybercrime division that is in pursuit of a murderer that posts his killings on line as they occur.

All in all Untraceable was entertaining, not a great or even very good flick, but it is two hours of escapism. If escapism can be based on watching people die slow, painful deaths during a web cast. The movie had a dash of social commentary but for the most part it was mindless and stole quite bit of its torture scenes from Se7en and Saw.

Would I recommend anyone to run out and see this movie? Nah, but I figure Untraceable will be one of those flicks that you watch repeatedly on cable.