Scarlett Johansson and DPC’s 9/11
Maybe relating Scarlett Johansson’s recent engagement announcement to an American tragedy as 9/11 is grand hyperbole but my world came crashing down around when I got word of this new nuptial announcement involving the basis of my fruitless Craigslist based search. Am I bummed out about this new? Well, yeah, of course I am but this is because I have no life beyond playing a lot of Mario Kart on the Wii. And yes, my better half has been quietly cheering on the news that Ms. Scarlett will now be Mrs. Scarlett.
With all of that pathetic rambling said, I can now focus on her latest endeavor as Tom Waits’ champion.Anywhere I Lay My Head is our kid’s first musical release, Lost In Translation karaoke work aside (which I cleverly included below), and my bias aside this still seems like an odd choice of musician to cover. Actually polar opposites would be the best cliche to describe the pairing of uber foxy Scarlett and the gruff, troubadour Waits. If I was a consulting party I would have leaned towards Scarlett partaking in a album of Fiona Apple tunes. Of course this combo would have destroyed mankind or at least a Life In The DPC.
Of course the sweet is never as sweet without the sour and Scarlett was #2 in Maxim’s latest Hot 100 issue. Second place is a moral victory at Life In The DPC. Especially with respect to the latest (bad for DPC)news involving America’s sweetheart.
Dreams Apparently Due Come True - (What Would I Do If I Had A Spare $12K?)
* two tickets to the world premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You. The premiere location has not yet been determined but will be in either Los Angeles or New York this July.
* Chauffeured car service to the premiere
* Hair and makeup for one by Privé
* A meet and greet with Scarlett Johansson at the premiere
Unfortunately I am a little short of the $12,300 that would put me in the lead but my birthday is coming up and hopefully someone will embrace my delusions.
Obama Supporters
As noted in an earlier post DPC.com (and Scarlett Johansson) support Barack Obama in 2008. We are a little over a week away from Super Tuesday and with each passing moment Obama gains support and it isn’t just from crackpot bloggers in Northern California:
- DPC
- Scarlett Johansson
- Caroline Kennedy
- Ted Kennedy
- John Kerry
- Jessica Biel
- Oprah
- George Clooney
- Jamie Foxx
- Forest Whitaker
- Sidney Poitier
- Jennifer Aniston
Scarlett Johansson: Number 8 With A Bullet
Our kid Scarlett Johansson was named the 8th sexiest movie star by the magazine Empire. Angelina Jolie topped the list. Per their website, the poll was based on votes ‘by you’. I guess the people have spoken but like the last two presidential elections this is another travesty of justice. I have no qualms with Scarlett losing to the superbad Angelina but she is definitely foxier than number 2 Natalie Portman.
Actually there is a nasty trend going down, well actually its Scarlett’s ranking that is dropping. This past May she was 2nd in the Australian/New Zealand edition of FHM and she was 3rd in Maxim’s Hot 100. Despite the dropping value of Scarlett stock I am in for the long haul. I am already vested and the greatest lesson I have learned from Warren Buffett is patience and hastily made choices.
Much success can be attributed to inactivity. Most investors cannot resist the temptation to constantly buy and sell.
- Warren Buffett
Dolly Parton Hand Picks Scarlett For Role
Courtesy of http://www.stuff.co.nz/
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
Dolly Parton wants Scarlett Johansson to play her in a movie of her life.
The 9 to 5 singer has reportedly been in talks with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes about producing the biopic and is keen for blonde beauty Scarlett to take on the lead role.
A source said: “Dolly is a huge fan of Scarlett and thinks she would be perfect for the role. She has approached Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to see if they will produce the film.
“She’s really excited about the project, and is determined to have the very best people in town working on it.”
Meanwhile, Dolly recently joked her famous breasts will rise like mountains from her grave when she is dead and buried.
The I Will Always Love You singer hopes fans visiting her final resting place will make pilgrimages by mule to the peaks of her mammary mounds.
Dolly said: “I can just see two big mountains growing up out of my grave, and people going around on mule rides to look at them. Throughout my whole career, I’ve been known for two things - I’m talking about my music and my lyrics!”
Scarlett as a Nanny?!
David Patrick Castro.com has always been pro Scarlett Johansson and there could be an office wide field trip (from our new international headquarters in Santa Rosa, CA) to the cinema to see her latest work, The Nanny Diaries. If you click on the picture to the right you can experience the greatest movie trailer in the history of western civilization. (The title of Western Civilization’s Greatest Movie Trailer would have been surpassed by the proposed Jenna Jameson biopic that Scarlett refused to star in as everyone’s favorite porn star.)
Number Three With A Bullet
Scarlett Johansson finished third in Maxim’s Hot 100, which hits newsstands in June. Johansson was preceded by Jessica Alba and Lindsey Lohan. Lohan knocked off two time defending champ Eva Longoria who fell to ninth.
Past winners
- Eva Longoria (2006 & 2005)
- Jessica Simpson (2004)
- Christina Aguilera (2003)
- Jennifer Garner (2002)
- Jessica Alba (2001)
Scarlett Falls To 2nd Place
Scarlett Johansson is no longer the sexiest woman in the world. The Australian/New Zealand edition of FHM named 20-year old model/actress Keeley number one.
Johansson is now second to one in the eyes of a publication that caters to a country that was initially a prison colony for the British.
Robot Dreams, Interspecies Sex, and True Artificial Insemination
I have often acknowledged my obsession over Scarlett Johansson but I let the search die last year amid the many whispers that I had finally gone over the deep end. I took heed and squelched my dream before its fruition. I watch a lot of Futurama , it’s a good toon and I find almost every episode entertaining. In season three, episode 15 Fry takes
his obsession over Lucy Liu to the next level and has a robotic version created. To create a robotic of one’s favorite celebrity is no more difficult than downloading their profile and such from a Napster styled web site and then having the information burned onto a blank robot. Apparently technology has evolved to the point where robots maintain the same suppleness as humans. I can’t say this for sure but based upon my observation of the episode robot/man frolicking is detested to the point of where they have propaganda films for the kids to watch in middle school and dispel their disillusions of interspecies love. Within the episode the robotic Liu and Fry frolic like two love birds but in the 30th century interspecies dating and mating is frowned upon in the same manner interracial dating had been in the 20th century.
Would I cross social, cultural and species to be bound with robotic Scarlett? Probably but the social stigma of dating and dare I say frolicking with a robot is far greater than interracial dating. (As the bi-product of an interracial marriage I have 
been privy to this stigma a few times but the robot thing might be viewed in the same manner as statuephilia) I guess I would do what seems right to me. Based upon the Futurama episode robo/human love seemed to be a big problem but the robots seemed to feel human. Unfortunately the robotic Lucy Liu followed Isaac Azimov’s basic rules of robots wherein she seemed to be devoid of any free will and was essentially a hooker. Liu was absolutely enamored with Fry and she is the only one in the show that enjoyed his slack jawed ways. Based upon Azimov’s laws a sexy Scarlett robot would serve DPC but lose her spunk and inevitably her ethos.
And what happens if robots turn out to be sexy? The question is what authority are we going to delegate to these machines? People are going to be having sex with robots within five years - Henrik Christensen, chairman of the European Robotics Network
I guess my delusions of a sexy Scarlett robot has already
y been dealt with, at least in a theoretical sense. Personally, if it was based upon The Futurama version of robot love, I would likely partake in this odd and hopefuly forbidden love. In the cartoon there is a social problem of interspecies dating but it is still legal. If having a robot version of my favorite vixen existed now, well technology is too far behind to give us nothing more than a blow up doll, so I would decline. But if the technology speeds up, like in five years, I will fall to the prediction of Henrik.
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Ahab Had Moby Dick and DPC Has Scarlett: The Last Waltz
The Scarlett Search is over and this time I mean it. Ultimately, and this came after many a wasted day of work perusing the Internet, this was a pipe dream. Despite this pipe dream I believe I am better off than when I began quite a while ago.Maybe it was a lost cause. Maybe some notions need to remain as such. Maybe dreams need to stay in their ephemeral state. Regardless I will ramble on and do whatever I do. All is not lost since I can’t find this starlet maybe I can find a job I enjoy…
