Ahab Had Moby Dick and DPC Has Scarlett: Volume X
I am still on vacation and now I am sicker than a dog. This is a terrible way to partake in a holiday and accordingly I have lost a bit of faith in the Craigslist community in Northern California due to my illness but all is not lost. I have changed my ad to include San Francisco because I am willing to commute to find my queen.
Ahab Had Moby Dick and DPC Has Scarlett Voulme IX
As I stated earlier I’m on vacation in my home town of Santa Rosa and I will use this opportunity to scour different ports in search of my dear Scarlett. With the help of Craigslist, and its ability to offer regional searches, I posted this ad:
Dear North Bay;
I am on holiday for a week in the ever pleasant North Bay and I am looking for a single gal that resembles Scarlett Johansson. This will not be a weekend tryst. I am looking for a zealous and hearfelt romance.
My time in the North Bay will be short but filled with optimism. The main reason for this little trip back home is to attend the wedding over a dear friend. Romance is the undelining theme of many of this hoilday’s endeavors and accordingly I need to find my queen.
.
Ahab Had Moby Dick and DPC Has Scarlett Volume VIII
I am on holiday in the Golden State and will continue my search. This vacation offers a greater amount of scouting for Scarlett styled women. I have often acknowledged that Santa Rosa, Ca. is my home town and now I can finally port. But the search will continue as I try different bays to find my elusive bounty.
Ahab Had Moby Dick and DPC Has Scarlett Volume VII
With new fire I set forth on my mission to find Phoneix’s version of Scarlett Johansson. Unfortunately there seems to be communication issues between my advertisment and the area’s population.
After revising my ad on Craigslist last night I expected a flood of notes from the good people of the valley that had a resemblance to my temptress and yet the only reply I received left me confused.
At around 11 p.m. I received a reply asking if I was the Rhett type. Initially thrown off I reverted to my five years of working at Blockbuster and realized this reply was in reference to Gone With The Wind. 
My reply was sheepish but polite. “I can be,” I said. At first I wanted to remind said replier that she was a freak for having Clark Gable fantasies and yet I realized my recent psychosis and how I waste all my time either searching for a lookalike or writing about it.
I feel better knowing now that there are equally freaky people in my home town. Unfortuntately I have regressed into one of these people but hope and a means to fill my idle hands is on the horizon. On Tuesday NCAA Football 07 is being released for the PS2.
Ahab Had Moby Dick and DPC Has Scarlett Volume VI
As I stated a couple of days ago the Scarlett search was over but still I hate to leave goals unobtained, this would explain seven years of academia to receive a bachelor’s degree, so I will return to my quest because many of us are married to the ocean.My usual advertisement was reposted on Craigslist this evening and I may branch out into other horizons in this age of digital match making.Hopefully the responses will be different and I won’t be left to ponder the great unknown as I spend another evening listening to Elvis tunes while playing NCAA 06 on my faithful PS2.
But to rekindle the search leads itself to many pratfalls. I will spend my work week pondering if anyone will answer my call or I will fall victim to the approaches of a digital brothel and even if I do find a Scarlett what are the odds that there will be any magic beyond my lustings. That’s the rub. Quite frankly I am infatuated with my perceptions of an image.
To certain degree I found myself in the same situation a few years back when I was studying art history at London Metropolitan University. I am not big art guy. I took the course, along with an English literature class, because it seemed proper and it would also cover some credit I needed for graduation. During my many visits throughout London’s gallery scene I found myself always reverting to the work of Jan Van Eyck and his presence during the Northern European Renaissance. Van Eyck’s ‘The Arnolfini Marriage’ struck a chord with me when I saw it on our first day of class when we were touring The National Gallery. Even after seeing every gallery in town and the works of the masters I was still taken a back by this wedding day portrait. Love at first sight? Possibly but like my view of fair Scarlett I know when I am smitten with something and I will always come back to it.
Ahab had Moby and DPC Has Scarlett Volume V
I don’t much but I know when I am defeated. One reaizes these things after years of rooting for the University of Nevada Wolf Pack. Yet, in ignominous collapse, I have come to realize things about myself. Mainly that the object of my affection does not exist in this valley and that a pursuit of a starlett is lost cause. The dream is over.
But one must also remember the lesson I learned from some rats that were victims of science and man’s inherent desire to garner a better understanding of itself.
A few years back, this may have been a decade ago, some scientist studied rats as they slept. Whenever the rats succumbed to a dream state, which I believe is defined as rem sleep, they were awoken by their captors and were eventually allowed to drift away again. The scientists kept this game up for quite a while, never letting the rats dream. By the end of the experiment the rats life expectancy were markedly shorter.
Ahab had Moby Dick and DPC has Scareltt Volume IV
Defeat, it seems, is looming over me like the perpetual sun that scourges this valley of depravity. I have tried to maintain undaunted and true to my initial mission that Phoenix and its ever growing population would indulge one Scarlett knock off but alas it may be time to ramble on and pursue more tangible objects to bequeath my passion.
Ahab had Moby Dick and DPC has Scarlett Part III
The saga continues but despite my greatest efforts it would seem that I have been hit with nothing but fodder. My latest bits of communication with the Craigslist community has been minimal and there is nary a living soul to fulfill my delusions of romantic bliss. And yet, despite the simple notion that this might be a fruitless endeavor, I will march on.
Ahab Had Moby and DPC has Scarlett Part II
As I promised earlier the search for a Scarlett esque women in the greater Phoenix area continues. At this point I received another come on from a soul who refers to herself as Joelle.
Hey there, I was just placing an ad for myself, but
decided to look threw the men on here and came across your ad and decided that before I posted
my ad and picture for the whole world to see I’d
email a few people and see if I clicked with someone.
What do you have in mind that’d get my pics in
return?
XOXO Joelle
Initially I was engrossed by Joelle’s note, especially the wholesome addition of hugs and kisses, and yet there seemed to be something strange at hand so I kicked out a quick reply.
Dear Joelle;
Thank you for your reply to my ad on Craigslist. I’m
not sure if we are ‘clicking’ but please forward a
photo so I can dicern if you resemeble Scarlett.
Cordially;
DPC
As of this writing I haven’t gotten a reply from my sweet Joelle. I’m not sure if we clicked and that maybe a moot point since I have no idea if she resembles fair Scarlett.
To be continued…
Wanted! Scarlett Johansson
Dear Greater Phoenix;
I am searching for a single woman that looks like Scarlett Johansson. This is not to fulfill some deranged erotic notion but I believe that said actress is truly beautiful.
I am a single, college graduate that has a solid career but I believe certain aspects of my days have become monotonous due to my lack of companionship.
Please feel to contact me through craigslist. Photos are cool and I will return on this act of trust. Also, if you don’t resemble my favorite actress please feel to drop me a line.
I posted the ad on Sunday night and unfortunatlely the response has been less than stellar. Apparently, and this was not apparent to me, but when sexually driven chat rooms find men seeking Hollywood starlets they assume they are lonely and offer sweet sentiments veiled in advertisments.
Thanks for writing back. I never have time to write, but email gets boring quick anyways.
I have a handful of responses from people and I’m narrowing down my pray. I mean my selection.. teehee. Just Kidding!
You might think that I’m a man eater, but really I’m not at all. Well to get things steamy I thought I’d give you my naughty pictures and see what I get back…
Here I am http://www.myfavspace.org/jenny05/
My steady fuck is out of town for the whole summer and I’m going crazy w/o it.
I hope we click and can make something happen sooner than latter, otherwise I hope you find what you are looking for!PS. Lets hurry up and chat and maybe we can make our own fireworks for the 4th.
My initial take on this response to my ad was heartfelt sorrow. Why would jenny05 want to cheat on her man who she has a healthy sexual realtionship with. But upon closer inspection and a trip to her site I found out a few things. She enjoys poetry and attends a local community college to meet men since she hasn’t met any good ones at her local grocery store. According to her the Internet is also a good place to meet men. Unfortunately her only connection to Scarlett is her blondeness and proclivity towards unabashed sexuality. Alas she wasn’t Scarlett enough and I turned down her $9.95 a month advances.
